Stop asking yourself, “Am I a bitch?” and take the bitchiness quiz

Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I a bitch”? Sure you have, we all go through it. A bitch is a person who is mean, spiteful and driven by their own selfish interests rather than the common good. Nobody ever plans to be a bitch but for some people, it just comes naturally. After years of practice, some people even wear their bitchiness like a badge of honour.

Deep down, most of us want to be good people and we try to suppress nasty urges. Sometimes we are successful, and other times we slip and do something really bitchy. Then there is that special minority who are really decent people all of the time.

You can now find out just how bitchy you are by taking this simple quiz. To receive an accurate bitchiness rating, choose your most likely approach to each of the following scenarios. The quiz is 100% anonymous so you can answer honestly.

You and your colleague go shopping together to browse for office clothing. Your colleague tries on a skirt that is too short and highlights her fat thighs.

Am I a bitch?
You have had a long day at work and leave the office at 8pm. You board the train and there is one seat available, but just as you are about to sit down a 10 year old races ahead to take the seat. Their mother looks on and says nothing.

You have spotted your neighbour at a hotel lobby bar with a woman who is not his wife. They are dressed smartly and you cannot be sure if they are having an innocent drink or it is something more sordid, but they seem to be sitting very close together.

Your sister has a medium-paying job and has been diligently saving up to go on her dream holiday to New York. On the other hand, your spouse has been desperate to go on a romantic getaway to Paris to spend some time together. You have plenty of money in the bank already but you could get a big year-end bonus if you decide to forgo your holidays.

You go to the cinema with your friend and half way through the movie you realise you have actually read the book and you know exactly how the movie will end. You also remember it was a really crap ending and since the acting is so bad, you cannot bear the idea of sitting through the rest of the movie.

Your cousin has been feeling unwell. They went to the doctor who advised them to lose weight as they are at risk of diabetes. Your cousin has a real love of Italian food and enjoys eating huge servings of pasta and pizza. However they are serious about their health so they switch to eating breakfast bars instead which, unbeknownst to them, contain a lot of sugar and calories.

Am I a bitch?
You hear a colleague crying in the toilet. You knock on the door and ask if everything is alright but they insist nothing is wrong. However after a little probing they admit they have been sleeping with the office cleaner who has just been caught by immigration as an illegal citizen and is currently in a detention centre. Your colleague is heartbroken but doesn't want to take any action in case it impacts their career. They beg you to keep the information a secret.

You go to your uncle's birthday dinner. The birthday cake is bought out and it looks very unappetising, covered in thick, uneven green icing and decorated with a distasteful amount of cream and sprinkles. You are told that your uncle's son, who is ten years old and is also at the party, baked the cake as a special surprise.

Your friend discloses to you that they are having difficulties in their marriage and they worry their partner has a wandering eye. This comes as a surprise to you. You have always found their partner very attractive but assumed they were also very faithful. A week later, your friend invites you to a BBQ party at their house and asks you to dismiss their previous concerns as they think their marriage is now back on track.

It is your birthday coming up and your mother asks if she can take you out for dinner, just the two of you. Although you would rather go out drinking with friends you agree. On the evening of your birthday, your mum picks you up after work and takes you to a nearby restaurant where she made a reservation. The restaurant has really poor reviews on TripAdvisor and does not serve prosecco by the glass. You would never have chosen to dine here.

am i a bitch?
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